embarrasing photo club meeting
I just left a photo club meeting.
First I felt weird because I was the only single person in the room, everyone else came in couples or groups.
I felt like the only amateur in a room full of pros.
The only one there who doesn't know anyone else.
I actually didn't just leave, I fled.
This guy I never met set up half a room of lights and shit. Then he looks right at me and says "who wants to go first?"
Nobody even said what was going on. I said I didn't want to go first.
Intimidating.
I go up there first and he tries to plug this half a room of lights into my camera.
None of the shit works. My Nikon D-100 doesn't even have that kind of connector.
Now I'm supposed to take pictures of this girl. Nobody told me.
He puts this other (small) flash on my camera, I say "I've got one of these at home, no one told me to bring it."
The girl asks me what I want her to do. I say "I dunno, say CHEESE!"
The flash doesn't work.
I say "look, I really don't want to go first."
He calls the next person.
I said "take this off my camera."
He's trying to plug his half a room of stuff into the next persons camera.
I unplugged his flash and set it down.
I walked to the back of the room.
I check my camera, it seems to work fine.
I picked up my stuff and left.
Social failure.
I felt extreme, way over-intense, intolerable insecurity beyond description.
I can't wait for the next one!
First I felt weird because I was the only single person in the room, everyone else came in couples or groups.
I felt like the only amateur in a room full of pros.
The only one there who doesn't know anyone else.
I actually didn't just leave, I fled.
This guy I never met set up half a room of lights and shit. Then he looks right at me and says "who wants to go first?"
Nobody even said what was going on. I said I didn't want to go first.
Intimidating.
I go up there first and he tries to plug this half a room of lights into my camera.
None of the shit works. My Nikon D-100 doesn't even have that kind of connector.
Now I'm supposed to take pictures of this girl. Nobody told me.
He puts this other (small) flash on my camera, I say "I've got one of these at home, no one told me to bring it."
The girl asks me what I want her to do. I say "I dunno, say CHEESE!"
The flash doesn't work.
I say "look, I really don't want to go first."
He calls the next person.
I said "take this off my camera."
He's trying to plug his half a room of stuff into the next persons camera.
I unplugged his flash and set it down.
I walked to the back of the room.
I check my camera, it seems to work fine.
I picked up my stuff and left.
Social failure.
I felt extreme, way over-intense, intolerable insecurity beyond description.
I can't wait for the next one!
posted by MarkD60 at 8:48 PM
5 Comments:
your blog is very Good and interesting
thank you
Oh Mark, you have my sympathies! It’s strange but I always imagined that when I grew up I wouldn’t feel socially intimidated – I guess I just haven’t grown up yet ;o)
(Actually, I think this is why I'm enjoying the blog thing so much -- this is an easier way to make friends!)
I've felt this same sort of pressure in a similar situation. I was taking Kung-fu classes and was really enjoying it until some new people came in and I was supposed to work with them on moves. The instructor introduces me to them and says "she's new and doesn't know anything, so you can work on simple things". What? Hello, I'd been there for three months! I left after a few minutes and never went back. My confidence was shattered. I hope you continue to go and work it out.
Wow. Are you just being brutally honest here or perhaps it wasn't as bad as it sounds? Goodness, I hope the next time around is better!
The first time one attends a new function is always tense, at least for me it is.
The next time you will be able to mentally prepare and may not be caught off guard.
Don't be discouraged by the first meeting.
It took me many years to realize that people other people are no better than me. Once I realized that, things became easier to deal with. Just don't ask me to speak in public.
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