The Effects Of My Assholiness
Yesterday, after work, the OI Girl and I went for our half mile swim. (Yesterday was the first time she made it without resting!) After that, we were sitting on the beach and were asked to be witness's at a wedding. It was just a couple and a preacher, and us. Their rings looked like they were made out of black coral or mahogony. I don't think they were planning on getting married when they came to Cayman, and bought some rings at a souvineer shop. The preacher, I think, was a little senile. He made a long speech about cruise shippers, and the coule wasn't on a cruise ship. He made a comment that maybe someday they could afford better rings and he asked me how much I thought the rings were worth, I said "Priceless". (After the wedding, the bride thanked me for saying that.) But they were a beautiful couple and they kept rolling their eyes and laughing at the inane things the preacher was saying. the OI Girl was taking pictures with their camera, and I gave them my card and asked them to email me some. It was very nice to be part of a day they will remember forever.
After that, we went home and I started cooking some chicken on the grill. The OI Girl was inside, making salad and setting the table and whatnot. The chicken was almost done and then the wind blew the grill out and when I relit it it flared up and the grill fell off the table. All the chicken landed face down in the parking lot of our apartment. I was furious. I went inside and yelled "dinner's cancelled!" The OI Girl came out and told me it wasn't that bad and I was lucky I didn't get burned. I got even madder then: "NOW is not a good time to tell me how lucky I am!"
I got pretty mad but cooled off pretty quick, and threw the 4 pounds of chicken breast in the trash. We had frozen pizza. But the damage was done. She was all quiet and sad the rest of the evening.She knows I wasn't mad at her, but it doesn't matter.
Here it is from (I imagine) her point of view: We go to the beach, have a great swim, and are hanging out joking and goofing around on the beach. Getting along great like we usually do. We get asked to witness a wedding. We go home and we're all domisticated, I'm outside cooking on the grill, she's inside making salad and we're like family-ish. Everything is the way (I think) a girl likes it. Maybe she has the warm fuzzies, thinking about the wedding and everything.
Then all of a sudden I come storming in, a furious screaming asshole. She tries to comfort me, and smooth things over, and I get madder. The evening is ruined.
I could have handled it so differently, and I wish I had.
After that, we went home and I started cooking some chicken on the grill. The OI Girl was inside, making salad and setting the table and whatnot. The chicken was almost done and then the wind blew the grill out and when I relit it it flared up and the grill fell off the table. All the chicken landed face down in the parking lot of our apartment. I was furious. I went inside and yelled "dinner's cancelled!" The OI Girl came out and told me it wasn't that bad and I was lucky I didn't get burned. I got even madder then: "NOW is not a good time to tell me how lucky I am!"
I got pretty mad but cooled off pretty quick, and threw the 4 pounds of chicken breast in the trash. We had frozen pizza. But the damage was done. She was all quiet and sad the rest of the evening.She knows I wasn't mad at her, but it doesn't matter.
Here it is from (I imagine) her point of view: We go to the beach, have a great swim, and are hanging out joking and goofing around on the beach. Getting along great like we usually do. We get asked to witness a wedding. We go home and we're all domisticated, I'm outside cooking on the grill, she's inside making salad and we're like family-ish. Everything is the way (I think) a girl likes it. Maybe she has the warm fuzzies, thinking about the wedding and everything.
Then all of a sudden I come storming in, a furious screaming asshole. She tries to comfort me, and smooth things over, and I get madder. The evening is ruined.
I could have handled it so differently, and I wish I had.
posted by MarkD60 at 7:34 AM
8 Comments:
MarkD - stop off and buy some flowers on your way home tonight with a little card....
Yes, you were wrong, but she also overreacted initially too. Takes two, my friend....
And next time something unexpected happens, you will handle it differently. Just ask her to marry you and that'll make it all better!(insert evil laugh here)
D'oh! Yes my friend, I will have to be honest and say that you did blow it in a way. She's probably wondering if you'll start acting towards her that way some day. It would be best if you could talk with her about your anger and offer suggestions on how to help or not help you when you get that way. Maybe let her know not to say anything and just give you some time to get over it. Flowers are good too. But the talk will be best.
Aww - just talk to her about it. I'm sure things will be fine....and I'm impressed with your intuitiveness to know what she was probably thinking with the whole family-like situation. You're tuned in more than most men.
I think you did well in realizing you were wrong. To fix it, all you have to do is apologize, admit you were wrong, and try not to do the same thing again. A good woman will realize that everyone makes mistakes. A good woman forgives. I think you did great in not trying to defend your actions. I think you're a good man, for good men don't try and defend every wrong thing they do (and that goes for women too--we make even more stupid mistakes than men in the relationship department).
We're all assholes sometimes. I don't think what you did was all that bad. I would've gotten over it pretty quickly, but I've had years of dealing with assholiness! ;^)
Why do you guys DO things like that?
My husband did the same sort of thing to me over the weekend... you'd think that in 20 years of being with him I'd know not to take it personally, but no.
Make it up to her.
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