Depression
I think I'm going into a depression. I can seldom tell how I feel, to me I always feel the same. I notice myself sighing a lot today. Every once in awhile I take a big gulp of air. I ask myself, "why are you doing that?" I think that it is a symptom.
I can't tell how I feel the same as when I look in the mirror I can't see myself getting older. I can't see the grass growing. The change is gradual and I don't notice.
Once when I was going up some stairs, I had a memory of going up the same stairs but I could remember feeling differently. I was bounding up the stairs all happy when I usually dragged myself up them slowly. Everything was exactly the same except how I felt, and I could notice the difference. That one time, I could tell I felt better than I usually felt. So I know I sometimes feel differently than I do at other times.
But usually I can't tell.
I can't tell how I feel the same as when I look in the mirror I can't see myself getting older. I can't see the grass growing. The change is gradual and I don't notice.
Once when I was going up some stairs, I had a memory of going up the same stairs but I could remember feeling differently. I was bounding up the stairs all happy when I usually dragged myself up them slowly. Everything was exactly the same except how I felt, and I could notice the difference. That one time, I could tell I felt better than I usually felt. So I know I sometimes feel differently than I do at other times.
But usually I can't tell.
posted by MarkD60 at 7:14 PM
5 Comments:
Don't waste your energy on being sad. There seems to be lots of sadness round here. I can name about 5 people including myself in the midst of breaking up long term relationships. I think there's something in the cosmos. It has to pass. Hang in there. I'll get on the next flight. We'll sigh together.
Well, I hope you are bounding up those steps again soon. It sucks to be depressed and when you are living in paradise you really shouldn't be sad.
Telling someone not to waste energy on being sad or not to be sad because they live in paradise is not helpful. Not trying to step on toes here, but I know depression and it's just not that easy.
It's common to be down occassionally, but if the feeling lasts for more than a few weeks you may want to see a doctor. Keep doing the things you love to do and try not to isolate yourself from your life. Try something new, the stimulation will help lift you out of it. I hope you are feeling better soon.
Anduin-Sorry, that's not at all what I meant and in re-reading my comment I realize that's what it sounds like. I certainly didn't mean to offend you or Mark...wow.
I realize that Christa and I apologize if I sounded harsh. Depression is like the playground bully, mean and difficult to beat.
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