Three Quarters

This afternoon I go to the Brac. The weather is not good for flying in the little plane. It's sure to be a bumpy ride. I decided to just take open circuit scuba gear, not my rebreather on the trip.
I had my raincoat with me yesterday, so this weather is not my fault. It never rains when I have my raincoat. I was commenting about this to one of my co-workers and she confessed, it was her fault. She left her raincoat at home. It's ok, I like it when I get to wear my raincoat every once in a while!
I'm off work today but I have to get ready for the trip. Plus it's too nasty to go to the beach or anything.

Today is September 30th, the year is exactly three quarters gone. Every quarter, I like to reflect on the year and see how I'm doing. Did you make any new years resolutions? How are you doing on them? I made a couple, and I must confess, I'm not doing too well on mine. Mine were:

1) Always chew my food with my mouth open, as noisily as possible.
2) End each and every sentence that comes out of my mouth with the word "shithead".

It's frustrating when we don't do as well and we intended on our resolutions, but we shouldn't be too hard on ourselves over them. We can only resolve to do better next year!

What were your new years resolutions? How are you doing on them?

Full Set

It's Thursday, I anticipate a relatively easy day today... (Famous last words!) And I'll take my raincoat with me, guaranteeing a cloudless, sunny day! I went for a run and a swim this morning and hopefully it can be a beach lunch today too.
I'm drinking my first cup of coffee, and I slept relatively good and things seem OK right now.

I still have problems, I still have those little things nagging my mind and problems going on. (and Things I wish I could change.....!) I have a full set of problems right now.
But six months ago I had a full set, six months from now I am sure I will still have a full set of problems.
I always have a full set.
But do you know what? Right now, I can't remember what my full set of problems was six months ago. I don't remember anything too awfully important. I'm sure my problems seemed huge, just like the huge problems in my full set today! But I can't remember any of them now. Can you? To me, that means that six months from now I probably won't remember what my problems are today. So they must not be that important, irregardless of what I feel about them today.
I don't think life is about trying to solving all our problems at once, so that then we can be finally be happy for a minute, till the next problem arises. Life is about being happy NOW, even with unresolved problems. I've learned that I'm always going to have problems. I think that on a good day, maybe I'll get 3 new problems, and fix 5. And on a bad day, maybe I'll get 5 new ones and only fix 3. But they're always going to be there, and they will always fill my mind - If I let them.
But the purpose of life is to be happy, even thought the problems will still be there.
It seems, that even when I have minor problems, my mind magnifies them to make them more serious. I was telling a friend about how I was going somewhere and wanted to stop off somewhere else on the way and somehow ended up on a parallel street and was angry that I'd have to stop on the way back instead of on the way there. I was mad at myself! Huge problem! How could I be so stupid! He then told me about how he was drunk and mashed a beer bottle on someone's head and had to go to court for attempted murder. That gave me a lesson on perspective real quick! In my mind, my problem was huge, but in reality, it was minor. I learned it's all about perspective. To me, my problems are always huge, but really they're not. So I wish I could stop taking everything so seriously!
This is a huge problem dammit!
Just kidding
It's easy to say this stuff when I feel good, but hard when I feel like el crapo. But right now I feel pretty good. That'll probably change in an hour when I go to work.
Until then, and Beyond,
Have a good day!

Wowza

I just got home from work, I was in the worst traffic I ever was in here on this island. I left work at about 10 after 5 this afternoon and just got home about 6:45. It is raining really hard and traffic was packed. It's 8 miles home from work.
This morning when I was leaving I saw my raincoat sitting by the door and thought "nah! won't need it!" Wrong answer!
Let me tell you, it's raining hard.
When I was ready to head home, I tried to get our receptionist to run out in the parking lot and bring my car around but she wouldn't do it. Then this guy on crutches (jokingly) started giving me a hard time, saying my car was only 30 feet from the door, just run for it. I dared him to go pull my car up to the door, heck, with those crutches, he wouldn't even have to get his feet wet. Then he hobbled out to his car and I saw that his car was only 20 feet from the door! It was the only car closer than mine! Jeeez! After the grief he gave me I at least expected to be parked half way across the parking lot! Tomorrow he's going to get some grief back from me!
So finally I ran out and jumped in my car. I got soaked. Not too bad, I still had a couple dry spots. Then sat in traffic for more than an hour. My big toe was hurting from pressing the brake. I'm telling your, it was brutal.
So now I'm home, glad to be here. tomorrow is my last day at the station for a while, friday I'm off, Saturday I'm working on the Brac. Looking forward to the trip! I'm taking my rebreather and staying a few days too!
ciao!

All systems go

At work all systems are go. Everything major is working properly. Right now.
I didn't go out with P last night. I was going to meet her then work called me in. I called her and cancelled. Then work called immediately back and said nevermind. I didn't un-cancel. I took it as a sign. I feel too guilty with the Other Island Girl and the Fundgirl to add another element.
I kept hitting the snooze this morning and got up almost an hour late. I have a fuller than normal day scheduled, but it should be less full than my days have been with the equipment problems I have been having.
I woke up exhaustificated but the coffee is seeping its way into my bloodstream.
I'll make it.
All things good.
rodger dodger
over and out.

I won a Bank!

Last week I went to Wendys Hamburgers. The cashier told me to put my name and number on my reciept and put it in the box for a contest. So I did. Yesterday, I got a call from someone at Wendys, she said I won a bank and could I come and claim my prize. I said "Cool, I'll be there at lundhtime"
So I went at lunchtime, I wondered a little how a bank would fit in my car, but I figured that we'd just sign the ownership documentation over to me and I'd be taking home just a small stack of documents. I also reflected about my new life as a bank president. Lear jets, little sports cars...you know. Also I was wondering which bank, United Bank of Switzerland, Bank Of Butterfield, Fidelity, any one would be fine with me.
So I parked in the parking lot of Wendys and went inside, I asked for the lady who called and she came out and said congratulations! You won the bike! Take your pick, they're both the same!
I looked and there were two cute little 24 inch mountain bikes.
I had won a bike, not a bank!
I gave it to a co-worker.
Guess I'll have to wait a little longer for the Lear Jets and stuff.
I gotta go get ready for work.....

Questions

Christa asked me these questions. Read the rules at the end if you want to play!

1. If you could choose one of the ladies you have been posting about recently to become "the one" which one would she be?
I would pick the Other Island Girl because she's the one I'd most want to have babies with. Also my impression of her is emotionally stable, level-headed and sane.

2. What's the coolest thing you've ever seen while diving?
The coolest thing would have to be - a submarine. we were heading out to do a deep dive (before my rebreather days) and there it was, the tourist submarine. It was so cool, we swam as fast as we could and caught up and they were taking our pictures and I was laughing and clapping my hands and it was so great. All of us divers looked really cool too, with double tanks and sidemounts, lots of gear, all streamlined. I had always wanted to see the sub, you can hear it if it's in the water, but that was the first time I had actually seen it. I was with my friends from Virginia, USA who were visiting.

3. If you were forced to leave the Cayman Islands tomorrow and never return, where would you move to next?
I'd move back to Hawaii but I probably wouldn't stay there for long. I'd already planned that when I was considering the possibilitues of my contract renewal.

4. If you could have dinner with anyone alive or dead, who would it be and why?
Without hesitation I pick Lt. Col. Eileen M. Collins, I think that Space Shuttle Commander is the coolest job and she's the person I most want to meet on this earth.

5. Shag, marry, push off a cliff: Diane Sawyer, Barbara Walters, Katie Couric.
Diane Sawyer, shag
Barbara Walters, shag
Katie Couric, shag
I wouldn't marry anyone I didn't know!


Want to play?

The Official Interview Games Rules:
1. If you want to participate, leave a comment below saying, "interview me".
2. I will respond by asking you five questions - each persons will be different.
3. You will update your journal/blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview others in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

Here I am again

Well, it's me again, waiting to go to work again, thinking of something to post again.
I feel pretty good. I expect success with that same 'ol computer at work today. It was copying files when I left it last night.
Friday I go on vacation. I mistakenly put in for vacation a month early, because I thought my UK dive buddy was coming this month but it's next month, I considered rescheduling when I realized the mistake, but....NAH! I'll take off now AND then, I have the time!
Last night I was supposed to go night beach walking with the Fundraiser Girl, but she cancelled. If she hadn't cancelled, I would have. I know she is too busy and is making time for me. I doubt anything is going to happen beween us. I still haven't even kissed her. We are opposites. She hates coffee, doesn't dive, afraid of the water, popular, very good looking. Someone I trust completely told me that having a lot in common isn't too important, so I will keep going and see what comes of it.
On my brain is the girl from the other island. She's who I think about. I'm trying not to get emotionally attached but I think I already am. I'm going to see her when I take the abovementioned vacation. Her downside is, living too far away, and has plans to leave next year.
Another heretofore unmentioned devolopment is P. I met her at the grocery store one morning last week. I've known her for years, but never really talked to her much or spent time with her. She has never been single, I am sure she is single now. I talked to her yesterday on the phone when I was heading out to work. I think she is definitely a long term relationship kind of girl. She is a scuba instructor working in the dive industry here. I will call her tonight.
I hope reading this doesn't come across like I'm boasting or anything like that. I hate this. I feel guilty even talking to more than one girl at once. I wish I could just meet the right girl first and meet only the right girl. I want to BE in a relationship, I just don't want to go through the process of getting into one.
And I don't want to get in the wrong one again either, especially not!

Sunday Night at WORK!!

I'm at work, right now I am copying files from one drive to the other, so I thought I'd post a quick post.
I went diving as planned, but this time I really have to retire my old wetsuit, I was putting it on and it ripped. Here's a pic of the rip in the side. When I was taking it off, it ripped even worse. I bought that wetsuit in 1985 when I was visiting my parents to wear in Hawaii. I never made it back to Hawaii, I accidentally ended up on the East Coast of the US for 11 years before I came here. It was a good wetsuit. If anybody finds a 3mm farmer john wetsuit with the zipper in the front, let me know! I want another!
The dive today was good, I was crinkling the bottle, my buddy said he saw a shark but I didn't see it. The visibility wasn't very good, and the current was going down! It was warmer deep than shallow. When we got near the surface, we could look up and see it was raining really hard. In this underwater pic of my dive buddy swimming up to the boat, maybe you can tell it's raining. There's another boat tied up behind ours, you can barely see it. It's my buddys friends boat.
Here's the same boat, following us back, you can tell it's raining in this one.

Anticipating Wetness

I am all set to go diving. My rebreather is sitting by the door, undergoing the negative pressure test. This is my first time (diving) in a long time. I can't wait. I am very eager to go.
I have another stupid theory to bounce off-a-ya. My theory is that diving makes me sane, the longer I go without diving, the more insane I become. Actually I don't think it's the diving, but an element of the diving. I think something in diving cleanses the mind.
Last week at work I was stressing real bad and I thought, "gee, it would be nice if I was married, because sex would be a perfect way to use this stress, and If I was married, (or had a steady girlfriend) then I could go home and have sex." then I started thinking about how I might actually start to WANT to have bad days, then I could go home after work-

me: "Honey! I'm home! I had a REAL BAD day at work!"
her: "Oh goody! I'm glad! I'm right here! in the bedroom! I can make it alllll better!"

This probably happens for everybody all the time but me. You're probably thinking "he doesn't already know this??! Uh- no, I just thunk of it!

Anyway, after diving, I'm going back to work, I worked yesterday, took that new board that failed back and traded it in for another new one, and I am re-configuring the computer again. It's not so bad this time as I've done it before and can move along fairly smoothly. (This time I lost my drive partition and all my data. bummer. You know me though- rebreather diver=backup.)
Got it covered

Where's my Nine?

What a day! Work wise, not the greatest... I feel like I keep saying that!
My repaired computer died. Died hard. It cut off after a commercial. Blank screen. Shut down, won't boot, dead. This was when I was ready to walk out the door at the end of the day. Before that, two link receivers died at the main transmitter site.
Now I bet you are thinking that I must have some kind of black cloud hanging over my head, and lately it seems I do, but not usually. It just had been recently. And it really isn't my fault, just bad luck I rekkon.
As a typical example of what kind of weird things have been happening to me lately, I took this picture of my phone just a few minutes ago after I was playing cards and came up with an incomplete deck. If I had a nine, I would win. It should be there, there's no cards hidden! Where's the nine? Whoever heard of an incomplete deck on an electronic game with electronic cards? Sometimes you just have to laugh!
This doesn't happen to normal people!!!

long night

Last night was a long night.
I stayed up late, went to bed almost midnight. I slept and slept. I woke up thinking it was almost morning. But it was 1:45. So I slept and slept some more. Woke up again, I was sure it was almost morning. it was 3:30 ish. So I slept and slept some more.
I woke up again, It MUST be time to get up now. It was 4:40. OK, 20 minutes to go. I lay there an hour (it seems)... 4:51 Dang!
5:00 the alarm goes off. Finally! Sheesh! I slept two weeks last night!
Here I am. Going to get ready for work now!
Good Morning!!!!
ADDENDUM 6:04 AM
I went for a run again, took a shower and am drinking coffee. I forgot to mention that I got a call yesterday, the Turtle Beach Walks are officially done for the season. At least I found one! AND I asked her to call me when they go look for hatchlings. (Not Bio girl, forget her!)

Today

This morning I got up and went for a run. Then I drove to work in the pouring pouring rain and when I got there, I installed that computer, connected it to the network and moved the announcers back in from the other studio. I had a rough time making it connect to the network at first and I was getting angry and frustrated, but finally everything clicked into place and its going good! Then I went for lunch and took a nap. I kind of felt guilty for not going to the beach and swimming and getting some exercise. I told myself I DID run this morning, but I feel guilty anyway.
I lost my temper at work today, I had a broadcast this afternoon and I called in to do the mic check and the announcer was doing an interview in the studio. The interview was supposed to be over at 5 and it was after 5, So I felt justfied in getting pissed off. For me, there is no such thing as justifiable anger. I also got mad yesterday when the same announcer was doing another interview in the studio the talk show was on. I never had a chance to test the equipment, there were problems, and a 1 hour talk show started 10 minutes late.
I have a theory. It is stupid, but here goes: My brain sits in a teacup full of water. there is a tiny pump with a filter that circulates the water and cleans it. When the water is clear, I feel great! When I get angry, the cause of my anger is like someone dropping a teabag into the water and it gets colored. Even after the source of anger goes away, (someone takes the teabag out) The water stays colored untill the filter has a chance to make the water clear again. The filter isn't terribly efficent. As long as the water isn't clear, I don't feel as good as I like to. That's why I get angry quick and get over it slow. Is that a stupid theory or what? I think I get angry easier than most people, but get over it quicker, which isn't too good, because I get mad, then they get mad back, then I get over it, but they're still mad at me, then I feel like guilty for getting mad, and I'm under their assault.
Right now I feel bad that I lost my temper, and I hate it every time I do that. I wish I could not get angry.
But now I'm going for a bike ride.

Finally!

After almost a week of

Banging my head against the wall,

I finally got that computer fixed.

Thank You! Thank You!
BUT
It shouldn't have taken so long.
(it WAS the first time I ever worked on/configured a RAID)
If there's no further problems, I can get it installed and working tomorrow!

(I can't remember exactly where I stole these pics from... but it was from other blogs!)

I always see triangles

The first thing I saw whan I walked outside for the dogs walk was a huge triangle in the sky. I said to myself' "I never noticed THAT before!" . The triangle was formed by three stars, one, which I already knew, was Pollux, as in Castor and Pollux, as in the Twins, AKA the constellation Gemini. The other two I had to look up. Number two was Procyon, the brightest star in the constellation Cannis Minor, the Little Dog. And the third, wasn't a star, it was the planet Saturn. That's why I never saw that triangle before, because Saturn moves rapidly in relation to the stars and probably as soon as tomorrow or certainly next week, my triangle will be gone. But this morning, it was a perfect triangle of bright stars in a lightening sky. Pointing east.
I always see triangles in the sky, I don't really know why. I can recognize a triangle by the difference in the three angles and they always seem to jump out at me. When stargazing, I start with a known constellation, then I jump from triangle to triangle to find the constellation I am looking for. I'm not always looking for three bright stars either, sometimes its three that are of the same magnitude (brightness) in a group of brighter stars. For example, Centaurs neck has a triangle of three dim stars in it. Centaur is a very complex constellation. At the astronomy meetings, they sometimes ask me where a certian constellation is. It makes me feel good. They are all much better astronomers than I, with telescopes and knowledge. I just can find the constellations. (I always look at a map before I go, to be familiar in advance)
Sometimes I look up an don't recognize a thing.
I picked a star as my favorite when I was a little boy. I could always find it by its triangle, and it was red. I didn't know at the time, but the constellation was Orion, the the red star I picked was Betelgeuse. You can find its triangle if you look.
(I am using red text so it doesn't destroy your night vision.)
Laying in bed this morning, I decided I wasn't going to post today. I didn't have anything to say. Then I saw that triangle...

Bla-zay

I feel kind of bla-zay today. The beach walk was cancelled, because the D.O.E. people aren't here. I'm doing laundry, got the non-specific blues. Going to work soon.
You know what? I don't do anything creative. Every 5 years of so, I decide I want to draw and I go out and buy all these sketch pads, pencils, and books with titles like "How to Draw". I can't draw worth dawg doo. I wish I was able to do something creative, like paint, draw, write a song or SOMETHING!!

Like I said, I got the non specific blues.
Maybe I feel not right because:

I haven't been diving in over 10 days.

I had a taste of something I've really been wanting for a long time and now it is out of reach again.

I have had too many days working in a row without a day off.

I keep thinking about another thing that I've mentioned before that concerns someone in bloggerworld. (I know, I shouldn't let it bug me, but I do. I said I was going to let it go, but can't)

I have not been too successful lately with the repairs I need to make at work.

If I thought more, I could add to the list.

Anyway, its time for me to head out the door for work!
Have a great day!

Wasted Day

Today I worked on that computer. It was weird. The guys who sold it and developed the broadcast program told me how to reconfigure it. Finally I called tech support for the RAID Controller manufacturer. He said I can't do it that way.
So tomorrow I have to start over, re-format both drives and start over.
But I'll get it, and when I do, I will be the all knowing diety about RAIDs!

That was work, but how do I feel?

I feel like I CANNOT sleep alone tonight after meeting that girl. I called the Bio Girl, no answer, no voice mail (I don't even know if I'm turtle nest beach walking tomorrow) . I haven't called the Fundraiser girl...

I just called her and she's busy at the moment but promises to call back when she's done. I like her but I don't think anything can work between us because we're so different. And I respect her enough that I wouldn't try to just "get some", unless of course she indicates that she wants to just "get some" in which case I will be most accomodating.

As far as I am concerned, the Bio Girl is out. The Fundraiser Girl, while the most desirable to me, isn't realistic to hope for. The Other Island Girl, well, she lives on another island. I don't do long distance. We can see each other again and maybe somethig will develop, but in the meantime... I'm still looking and I have zero prospects.

OK she called, I'm going to see her right now.
Bye!

Lazy Mans Post

It's back to work this morning, gotta fix that computer! I'm having trouble getting the RAID working. I'm going to need a RAID at home when I get done with this. RAID stands fo "Redundant Array of Inexpensive Drives. They can be set up several ways, basically variations of making several drives look like one huge one, or to have an automatic backup of a specific drive(s). I'm setting mine at work for automatic backup. It's good for hardware failure, but not good for software failure. Any software or data problems are just replicated on the backup, which is what happened and what I am fixing.

I took these tests I found on Somebody elses blog. This is not really the type of thing I think is cool to post, but do I bloody care? It's kind of fun to take the tests.

How You Live Your Life

You are honest and direct. You tell it like it is. You're laid back and chill, but sometimes you care too much about what others think. You tend to have one best friend you hang with, as opposed to many aquaintences. You have one big dream in your life, and you never lose sight of it.

How Do You Live Your Life?

You Are 40% Weird

Normal enough to know that you're weird... But too damn weird to do anything about it!

How Weird Are You?

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to good manners and elegance. In love, you feel the most alive when your partner is patient and never willing to give up on you. You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring. You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic. Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with. Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. You think of marriage something you've always wanted... though you haven't really thought about it. In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

Got Lucky

After whining for the past two days about never getting laid I just wanted to tell you I got lucky Saturday night. It was good beyond description. And I really really want to see her again. Thats all I'm going to say.
I just got home from the airport and am totally tired. I know, I promised pics but I am sorry I only have these of the Brac Reef Resort, that I took from the air as I was leaving. I didn't have as much free time as I expected. On the first pic, notice how close the resort is to the west end of the island, and the airport runway. The second one is a crop of the first, showing the boundaries of the resort. click to enlarge

Good Night!

Biker Dude

I rented a free bicycle from my hotel and rode down here to my secret WiFi place. It's weird, because the restaurant/bar where it is located is closed, I'm sitting here at an empty outdoor bar, with a pool. All closed, nobody here but me. It's a pity, 'cause I have some money I'd like to spend on something to drink and a great big 'ol steak. Also because it is a great pool and bar. I usually eat here every trip.
MY hotel charges $15 an hour for internet access. but they let you use a bike for free.
Today I did my two broadcasts and got to spend a little time by the pool afterwards. Tomorrow is the last broadcast at 11 AM, then the flight is about 6 PM. So there's some free time there. I want to explore this seemingly inaccessable part of the island I found a few trips ago.

About my previous post. I've been asking myself why I publicise that shit here. The answer is because I want to hear what people have to say about it. I was kind of disappointed to have zero comments! Sheesh! At least You guys are polite enough to not say you think I really AM a freak to my face! (I knew it already)

I took a lot of pics today but none really for postng here. they're of my co-workers broadcasting and not my blogtype photos.

Cayman Brac Morning

Here I am on Cayman Brac. Last night I worked till about 9:45. Then went to bed. the broadcast was from a bar at the hotel where we are staying. It was a big party
I went to my room after the broadcast and helping the hotel manager fix a lock. My co-workers band was playing at the party at the bar and I heard it was a big thing. I wanted to go but that isn't my type of thing, as you know from my photo club meeting post. I am never going to meet anybody if I don't ever go out and meet someone! I think I operate by a different set of rules than the rest of the world. I feel like I don't fit in at such things. very uncomfortable. There were lots of girls and sexy dresses and cleavage and I always wanted to just meet anyone but have never been able. A girl three feet from me might as well be on a different planet. I can't communicate. I am so clueless I can't even describe it.
Anyway, I don't want to travel down that road this morning.
Today I have to work and it will probably take almost all day.
I am sitting in the rental car outside my secret WiFi place. Yes, it is still here!
Now I can take my emails back to my room and relpy to several that need it.
I'll be back tonight with pics! (I hope)

Found One!

Click pics to enlarge

This morning I found a turtle track and nest! Totally cool and totally obvious! You can see where the Momma turtle crawled up the beach. they can't really walk,they kind of flipperswim across the sand. You can see finmarks and a tailmark and the marks from her shell.
This is the nest, she digs a hole that is like the inside of a vase, and lays her eggs. Then she moves forward and buries the nest by throwing sand behind her, digging a big hole in the process. You see the hole, and the nest is under the mound right next to it. It doesn't photograph well.
Then I called the dept of environmment (Not Bio Girl, she apparently doesn't work Firdays) and they came out and dug and located the eggs (without disturbing them), triangulated the location and documented everything. They'll come back in about 2 months when the eggs are supposed to hatch (hopefully with me) and assist if necessary.
This is a picture that I took standing right next to the nest, looking north. It looks a little like a tropical beach on a Caribbean island, doesn't it? I love my life! It is soooo great!!

Blasting off!

This morning the alarm went off and I lazily reached over and pressed the snooze. I was dozing off and the realization suddenly HIT me! I've got a beach walk today! So I got up, shaved, showered made coffee, walked the dog, Got dressed, (not quite in that order!) and now am typing this.. In a few minutes I blast off, out the door for the beginning of a nonstop action packed weekend. (Too bad the action will be boring!)
After the beach walk,I go to work. Then fly to the other island for more work tonight. Lets see... what am I doing tomorrow? Working! and Sunday.. Um..trying to think... Oh yeah, Working then too! Just in time, I'll make it back for the workweek on Monday!
Hopefully I will ba able to post more this weekend. I think so. And it won't be all bad, I will have some time off there on Cayman Brac, hopefully!
So in case I don't see Ya! Good morning, good afternoon, good evening!
Have a fun and safe weekend!

Depression

I think I'm going into a depression. I can seldom tell how I feel, to me I always feel the same. I notice myself sighing a lot today. Every once in awhile I take a big gulp of air. I ask myself, "why are you doing that?" I think that it is a symptom.
I can't tell how I feel the same as when I look in the mirror I can't see myself getting older. I can't see the grass growing. The change is gradual and I don't notice.
Once when I was going up some stairs, I had a memory of going up the same stairs but I could remember feeling differently. I was bounding up the stairs all happy when I usually dragged myself up them slowly. Everything was exactly the same except how I felt, and I could notice the difference. That one time, I could tell I felt better than I usually felt. So I know I sometimes feel differently than I do at other times.
But usually I can't tell.

Work Robot

I am work robot. Mark not here
Work today, fix computer. Fix transmitter.
Additional objecive: Go to beach for lunch hour. Need solar recharge.

whew!

well I'm home. Just got here and just got out of the shower and I am just starting to relax a bit. I had a long day and not much sleep last night, but I plan on staying up till my regular bedtime just to get back on schedule.
At work the most important computer lost its operating system.Why? I don't know, I think one corrupt file did it. But I am reinstalling the OS and reconfiguring the computer. It has all the music and commercials for the radio staion on the drives so I'm trying to save the data. Should be no problem.
At the transmitter site I have an intermittent noise problem. It is too weird to even start to discuss here. I gotta figure it out. I get a little crackling sound sometimes on the radio. Sometimes quite bad, and sometimes not at all.
Anyway, I don't get paid enough to talk about work after work.
Want to see a cool article about spacesuits? Check this out! A space suit is a rebreather, but it also had tempurature and humidity controls. this an article about the Apollo spacesuits. It looks pretty complex to me, but you can still see the rebreather in there. The O2 bottle, the diluent bottle and the scrubber canister.
Oh you're bored. Me too. I didn't do much today, I didn't go to the beach, I didn't swim or anything. I didn't take any pictures, except of some wiring that I wanted to be able to replace just like the manufacturer had it.
Anyway, I'm going to try and find a movie to watch.
Have a great night!

My few minutes

Good Morning!!!! I'm leaving for work in about 10 minutes, as far as I can tell, these will be the only few minutes I have free today.
I am tired, I just got off work at 1:30 came home and went to bed at 2:30, woke up at 5AM. Two and a half hours sleep and I will work till 5:30 tonight.
I've got major problems in the studio and major problems at the transmitter site and I anticipate nothing but complaints from all sides all day.
It's looking like a fun day ahead!!!

end of a long day.

clik pics to enlarge

Here's pre-sunrise from this mornings beach walk. No nests again, the turtle people think that there won't be any more this season.

Here's another pic I took whilst walking this morning. (I like the word "whilst" it's a cool English english word)

Today was very busy, nonstop 11 hours. Tomorrow is looking busy too, starting with a broadcast at East End and ending with the talk show tomorrow late afternoon. Also I
have some transmitter problems brewing. I like Wednesdays, because of the "split shift / long lunch" but it looks like I'll be working straight through. I worked through lunch today and yesterday. One of my important rules is "Always take your lunch hour" Cause if you don't take it, the hour goes by and you're still at work. If you do take it, then you go back to work. No matter what you do, you end up back at work, so you might as well take the lunch hour, because you don't get that time back at the end of the day.

The Biologist Girl didn't seem too nice this morning. She seems to always have some other (male) volunteers in the vehicle with her. I told her I'd call her for coffee then couldn't today because of work, I plan on calling her tomorrow. But all day, I've been thinking about the Fundraiser Girl.

If I was reading a girls blog, and she kept talking about guys she liked in it, I might not like that. I might not read that blog as much. SO on one hand, I don't want to drive away the girls by talking too much about other girls. I guess I should be saying Women instead of Girls. On the other hand, nobody can tell me more about girls than another girl. And nobody knows less about Girls (Women) than me. I've not been too successful in relationships. Here's what a relationship has been to me:

R eally
E xciting
L ove
A ffair
T urns
I nto
O utrageous
N ightmare,
S anity
H angs
I n
P eril



That about sums it up. That being said, I can't wait for the next one. I just don't want to f it up.
Again

wow

At the fundraiser I got this girls number. We traded numbers. She called me. We went for a night beach walk. It was her first. She liked it, I liked it. It was totally great!
Then I get home and start thinking...
Earlier tonight I finally talked to the Bioligist Girl. I asked her out. She said "sure!". I'm not sure she understood what I meant. I'll see her tomorow. I'll ask again.
Probably somebody else would be really happy. I'm not.
I don't want to play the two girls game. I can't and I don't want to.
It always happens this way. None then two. then none again and everyone thinks I'm an asshole.

Restless Irritable and Discontented

Oooooboyoboyyy
I sure don't feel like going to work today.
I'm trying to think of something to write.
Yesterday afternoon I woke up from a nap I didn't remember laying down for. I woke up wondering where I was and how I got there. I had a weird dream too. I found a tartar missile, and set it off just for fun, like fireworks. It flew about 5 miles and landed in an unpopulated area near the airport. When it blew up it was LOUD! and made a big fireball. I thought "That wasn't a very good idea". Next thing I know, I hear that the police are looking for me. So I go to the police station but they're closed. (Weird, I know.) There's two girls in the parking lot, just leaving. I tell them who I am an why I'm there. They tell me the police were looking for me because two pieces of garbage were found with my name on it. The garbage was found up in the US (in an area I've never been). Weird, huh? When I was in the Navy, my ship had tartar missiles, that's how I know what type it was.
I didn't dive this weekend. I thought about it, but didn't.
Tomorrow is the beach walk again. I've called the Biologist Girl several times but her phone just rings out with no voice mail. I wonder how many times I have to show up on her caller ID as a missed call before she thinks I become considered a nuisance. I've had a rule for quite some time that I will only call someone 3 times, if she doesn't respond, I won't call back. So basically I will call with a 3-1 ratio. I will call you three times to your once. Maybe if the Biologist Girl doesn't have voicemail, she doesn't have caller ID either, but I don't see how that's possible. I'm calling to ask her out, not about beach walking, (some of you already know this). I'm not sure my 3 call rule is a good rule, because nobody I want to go out with ever calls back, ever. Well, almost never.
I lost a tiny bit of rubber from the inside of my underwater camera housing. It is important because without it, the lever for the on/off switch doesn't reach the switch. I'm thinking it will show up when I sweep the floor or something, but in the meantime I have to fabricate something to get the lever working. I spent a little time changing batteries before I figured out why it wouldn't turn on.
I have a really good camera that I seldom use, because it's too big to carry around, but I carry my little underwater camera with me because it's smaller. I want to take the good one. I'm thinking that if I bought a new huger lens that I would want to carry the camera that's too big around more. weird logic, isn't it?
Have a wonderful day.

Predictable weather

The past week or so the weather has been identical every day. Sunny mornings and cloudy, rainy afternoons and thunderstorms with lightning. The last 2 (or 3) nights have had the most excellent lightning storms. Literally continuous nonstop lightning. Last night I tried to get some pics with my underwater camera but had little luck. Tonight I will try again to get some decent lightning pictures.
Today I woke up at 7:30 and went to the beach. then it got cloudy and I came home.
That's about it.
I have a question, why, in the US, no matter how much gas is, it is always 9/10's of a cent at the end? It can't be Five dollars a gallon, it has to be five dollars and nine tenths of a cent. Why?

Technically, all the tonights should be yesterdays

Tonight was a fundraiser for the Hurricane Ivan victims who still need help, a year after Ivan hit. There's still a lot of houses with no roof and a lot of people still need help. We raised almost 2 million dollars. One year ago today, Ivan was bearing down on us really bad. I was at work. I was super lucky, all I got was flooded and I had insurance. Almost everybody on the island lost the roof, got flooded, or both. Hurricane shelters full of people lost the roof. Iven was a recordbreaking storm in several ways. Our peak wind at the airport was 209 MPH.

Almost all the insurance companies ripped everybody off, and as a result, got devalued. I switched to the only one who didn't get devalued. (Not sure devalued is the correct term.)

Here's a pic of me working tonight at the Marriotte. I don't like this pic because I look bug eyed. In real life, I look much cooler. Oh yeah, I think I was on TV. One of the cameramen had a camera on me for a couple of minutes, my boss said he saw me on TV but I didn't.
Click HERE for one of those 180 degree view videos I always do, I'm telling you, this is some boring stuff.

Afterwards, I was driving home and there was nonstop lightning. I tried to take pics of it and this is the best one that I got. It doesn't even come close to the real thing.

Now it's 2:16 in the morning. I am kinda tired. But I don't feel like going to bed.

Working tonight

I'm getting ready to go to work, it's a broacast about Hurricane Ivan one year ago. It's us and the television center together. I'm taking my laptop so I'll be online. I plan on being on Yahoo Messenger, running a webcam and I'll need some company. I'll be looking for you, my yahoo ID is MarkD60. Please come see me, but I might be busy.
It is a very formal affair, but I'm working so I'll be NOT wearing a tux. Black pants black shirt black shoes. I considered wearing a wetsuit. All black, ya know!

I'm baaack!

I'm back and batting 1000. I went across the street and had a swim, cuppa coffee #2 is brewing. I am awake and alive!
Pretty sick, isn't it? I've made two posts on my blog and haven't even checked my email.
I really need to get a life!

Thick

I feel pretty crappy. Headache. Blurry vision. It was hard to get up but hard to lay there in bed too.
When I sleep, I clench my jaw super hard and grind my teeth. I get these fantastic headaches that include my jaw, around to the back of my head, and down my neck to my back, kind of under my shoulderblades. I took three ibuprophen. (spell that for me.)
But, when I finish this cuppa coffee, and maybe the next, walk across the street to the sea and jump in, I'll be A-OK!

What day is it?

I keep thinking it's Saturday bacause I got off early this morning. But now I just got home from work. I got called in because of a problem with one of the transmitters. So I ended up putting in a pretty full workday.
I did get some beach time in this morning, then it got cloudy and started raining. This evening there was (and still is) some spectacular lightning and thunder. I thought that maybe we got hit by lightning, but that wasn't the case.
Tomorrow, in theory, I won't have to be at work till 5PM . then we're on the air till midnight and then hopefully I can make it home by one in the morning.
I am verrryyyy sleeeeeeeepy. I don't want to go to bed yet, I just got home, but I can't help it, I think I'm going to pass ou-
snnoorrreeeee

Friday YippEEEEE!

I am soo glad it's Friday. I am late for work already and I have to miss my beach walk. Yesterdays post I complained about my boss. He is truly a crisis manager. But one thing, yesterday, when he was telling me about all these broadcasts, (this morning and Saturday night) I threw into the conversation "you know, I'm going to be wanting some time off Friday for all this". My boss is good about that, if I ask for time off, he'll give it if he can.
So my plan toda is to do this broadcast from 7:30 to 8:30 (that's on air times, it doesn't count set up or take down) then head to the beach!!
You probably can't tell from my pictures, but I'm getting a little thin on top, hair wise. And i used to always used to wear a hat, not only to protect my head but to make me look not-bald. Well, for the past month or so I've been skipping the hat. At first my head burned, but not anymore. the problem is my nose, it is always red and I go to the bathroom and peel the sunburnt skin off. I can actually see the peeling skin sometimes like when you leave your coffee on the hood of your car and try to start driving!
I'm afraid people will start to call me Rudolph.
I am really not done with this post but I have to go to work NOW!
I am so happy today!!

Thursday Nite

What a day! Super busy at work. I was supposed to dive after work, but a friend called and wanted help picking up a new cabinet. So I canceled my dive to help. Then, when I was on my way to the store, he called and said he couldn't make it and could I pick it up??!! WTF? I'm supposed to be just helping! OK, I picked it up, put it in my car, delivered it, unloaded it put it in place and, oh yeah, PAID FOR IT!!! (I got my money back).
Hurricane Ivan was one year ago and there are all kinds of special shows and broadcasts. Tomorrow morning is one, I had to tell the Dept of Environment I couldn't do the beach walk tomorrow. It sucks, my second solo walk, and I had to cancel. I'll be branded as unreliable. It will take time to cure. My boss never gives me any advance warning. I didn't even know about the broadcast till after close of business yesterday, and today I first got all the details. I need to learn how to say NO! I never think fast enough. My attitude is "I can handle it, no problem!" Then I walk away and it dawns on me..... Wait a minute....I'm supposed to do something else then... My name should be "Dim" cause that's how my brain works.
Additionally, I had a bunch of text all typed up for a post I have been working on, (I mentioned it yesterday). Well, I lost it. My computer froze and my Firefox closed and I lost it. Not really a biggie, but I had put some effort in it. I was just reading here on blogger about this happening to some other people. I can't remember where exactly, cause you know, . . . I'm kinda Dim

cryptic I know

I keep thinking about a friend who became important to me. I have never confided in too many people. But when I do, they mean a lot.
Well, something happened and she's not talking to me. I still see her around kinda, but we're not talking. I kind of feel like she wants to talk but isn't because of external pressure. Maybe wants to and feels like it would be improper.
She told me she wouldn't disappear but kind of did. I have tried to create opportunities for her to communicate, but feel funny about it. Maybe she genuinely doesn't want me to bother her.
So what I've decided to do is let go. If she wants to communicate, she knows how.
But this doesn't feel right either, I can't just give up!
I want my friend back!

And i am so tired I am going to sleep. I am working on a post but it is taking longer than expected and isn't coming out as well as I'd hoped.

A really good day.

This morning, I went on the beach walk and didn't find any trails or nests. But I took this picture looking north along Seven Mile Beach. If you look real far, you can see a big house where the beach ends and the trees begin, way past the one with the blue green roof, that little white one. That's where I started from, I was a little less than half way when I took this picture.

(click all pics to enlarge)

Then I went to work. Ya know, I cant think of a thing about work that is worth mentioning. Except during lunch I went to the beach and went swimming.
This is my feet at Smith Cove. See the girl on the beach? See the rock behind the girl? that's where my towel and car keys are.
This is a cave at Smith Cove. I swam through there. If the water's rough, It's not a good idea to swim through there.
this is me inside the cave. Look! I have a pointy head! See the water welling up? It's coming through a hole on your left. I was trying to get some pics that were half above water and half below the water but none of them came out. I wanted to take more pictures but my camera batteries died.
After lunch I went back to work, and yeah, I go back all salty and crusty and sandy. It's not too bad after I wash my face. I keep a deodorant there too!
I still can't think of anything about work today that's worth mentioning. OK one thing, about a half hour before time to go home, I got this insane craving for pizza.
After work I went diving. It was a shallow, short dive. It was really good. There were a lot of big tarpon and jacks at this cavern. We kneeled there and held still and the fish came very very close. Too bad I didn't have my camera. It still had dead batteries.
This is a picture I took day before yesterday, when I was snorkeling. I was saving it as a backup picture, in case I needed one 'cause my batteries died. I'm not sure if it's a boxfish or a trunkfish. It's about 8 inches long and squirts water out it's mouth to blow sand out of the way to find food.

Now I'm home from my dive, I am typing with one hand bacause I ordered a thin crust pepperoni and mushroom pizza. Tomorrow I have to go to work super early because of a remote broadcast. there will be coffee there!!

getting ready to go

I'm geting ready to walk out the door for the turtle egg beach walk. I have to cover a lot of beach. I'm thinking I won't find anything, the season is almost over, but I have to keep an open mind. And open eyes.
Woke up this morning and walked the dog. Canis Major was right in front of my door when I went out. Under Orion. Very clear night. (morning). Still pretty dark, but getting lighter.
Didn't sleep worth a damn last night, every two hours I woke up. But I feel fine.
OK See ya!

What a day

Today was close to the worst day ever without anything specific going wrong.
Work sucked. I was busy all day and didn't get anything done.
My dive was cancelled. coulda guessed.
Went to the dentist today and need to have a filling replaced. So I have to go back for some drillin' and fillin'
I took a nap at lunch and didn't go to the beach all day.
Had an agrument this evening.
if it wasn't for bad days there wouldn't be good ones.
I rekkon.

I guess a lot of people are just making it back from a long weekend. Hope you had a good one! Welcome back!

Monday, need I say more?

I woke up this morning from a dream in which I was arguing with a guy from work. It was a very heated argument that was showing no signs of cooling off when the alarm went off. Why do I let a little thing like work consume so much of my life that I let it intrude on my sleep? I feel like I should have been on the clock at work for that dream. Also, I think the fights and arguments we have as adults are the same as the fights and arguments we had as children. Only with bigger toys involved.
I'd much rather have nice sex dreams like everyone else. I seldom have sex dreams. That I remember.
Monday. I feel apprehensive.
I notice a lot less blog traffic this weekend, I guess because it's a holiday in the US.
I don't feel "right" this morning. I have a specific idea about what may be bothering me, but it's purely speculation. Maybe it has to do with losing a friend. Like someone you used to confide in and something happens and then you still see each other and talk but don't confide in each other anymore. I feel hated. Did you ever really really like someone who you think hates you? I have, several times. Maybe the whole thing is my imagination. I never know how to handle social situations.
Friends come and go but enemies accumulate. I hate it when friends go. It hurts.
I cant think of anything to say.
I'm half way throught my first cup of coffee.
three quarters.
I've got my swim trunks on under my pants, like always. I will go to the beach at lunch today, I hope. After work is the scuba dive with the Biologist Girl. Maybe that's why I feel apprehensive.
If my brain was an engine it would be running a little rough today. Quite rough actually.
I feel weird.

Sunday Blogblurb

Here is the new sea swim schedule, we missed a couple of swims due to bad weather, Next is September 17, I expect to see you all here. C'mon! 800 meters! half mile! It's easy! You don't even need to train!! Please don't kick my ass too bad!
Look what's next though! 1 October. . .

Yesterday I gave advice to Anduin about her cat. Last night my dog woke me up with his frantic grunting and I told him to go lay down. This morning I woke up to a puddle of pee on the kitchen. I'm suposed to learn a lesson here I think. Anduin, if you're reading this, forget what I said before, do whatever your cat wants you to do whenever he wants you to do it.

I am totally loaded up and ready to go diving. Tomorrow I'm diving with the Biologist Girl. Today is with my regular on-island dive buddy. I feel like I haven't been diving in a long time. This morning I was putting my bailout bottles in the car and found my 75% O2 was empty. Leaked out apparently. Weird, because it's happened before and I blamed the regulator, which I replaced. It doesn't make bubbles underwater, so I don't know how it could be leaking.
I grabbed my backup bailout bottle, 80% instead of 75%, but OK for bailout!
Redundancy baby! redundancy!
Yeeeee
Haaaaa!

Weird space time warp

I thought for sure I did my "Double Digits" post today. Not yesterday. So all day I thought I posted but I didn't. I don't really know where the day went today. I went to the beach, but left my book at home, so I just swam and played games and Yahoo Instant Messaged on my cell phone. then I cleaned up the house a little bit. A Very little bit. I did laundry and pushed the room around a little.
My dog defies the laws of physics. He's a 40 pound dog who looses 60 pounds of hair every day. I kid you not! I have white tile floors and they suck! Every hair and piece of anything is plainly visible. He ran away this evening too. I let him out without the leash and he took off. All week I've been letting him off the leash and he's been good and come back immediately when I called him. Not today. So I left him outside and went off for a while and when I got back, he was chained to the porch. I have good neighbors.
I ordered Chineese food for supper. Beef Lo Mein.
Monday after work I'm diving with the Biologist girl I mentioned who glues transmitters on turtles backs (she does more than that too, ya know). I am super excited. I mean SUPER EXCITED!! She also likes coffee. I think I'll also see her Tuesday when I do the turtle beach walk again. This is the same girl whose number I got during a freedive class we both took a long time ago. She wrote her number on a teeny tiny piece of paper and I couldn't find it. I finally did find it months later but I felt like I had waited too long to call. (I still have that teeny tiny piece of paper!) Then I signed up for the turtle thing and there she was. She doesn't really act interested in me though, not that I can tell such things. But I plan on taking it slow.

Part of me is afraid to even hope.

Double Digits!

My previous post is the first time I ever got double digit replies! I am sooo happy! I've been waiting and hoping, but I couldn't say a word!

This is me dancing for joy!

Thank You Everybody!

(Don't Stop!!)

Today wasn't a bad day, this morning at 6 I was at the beach, for my second "walk beach and look for turtle nests" training. I think next week I'll be on my own. this morning we didn't find any, but we followed this weird trail a long way. It looked like a turtle, you could see the belly marks and the tail marks, but no fin marks. Hmm? We followed it all the way to this garbage can with a split in the bottom! The split made the "tail mark" when someone obviously dragged it from down on the beach up to one of the condos! Oh well! I walked with a girl named Lori this morning. It was nice! Then a Dept of Environment vehicle picked us up and took us back to the beginning where our cars were.

Then I went to work and it was a long dull day. I don't have too much to say about that. For lunch, I went to the beach again and walked a little, laid around a little and swam a little. Then back to work for a nearly intolerable Friday afternoon, I just wanted to go! After work, I came home and took a nap. coming home is a fatal flaw. Every day I tell myself I'm just going to run in, get the dog, and head back out to the beach. But I never do. I sit down at the computer. Check email, check blog, cruise other blogs. Then it's later and I figure it's too late and I'll take a nap. I like it a lot better when I do something in the afternoon and not go straight home after work. Once I go home, that's it, the day's over. I need more self-discipline.

These evenings, Venus and Jupiter are very close together after the sun goes down. Even if you live in a big city with lots of streetlights, I am sure you can see two bright "stars" about a thumbs length apart soon after sunset. Look west, about halfway between the horizon and straight up. The brighter one is the planet Venus, and the other is Jupiter. Check it out! it's pretty cool! And easy to see!

todays lunchtime pics

click to enlarge pics

Thunderstorm

Spotts Beach

Did anyone loose a boat? I found one!

Ugly Swimmin' Thing

Tomorrow morning is my second day of turtle nest beach walking! I am supposed to be at the end of Seven Mile Beach at 6 AM! Hope I find a turtle trail and nest!

WTF?

This morning I woke up at 2:30 AM. Yesterday I woke up at 3:30 AM. Day before that it was 4:30. At this rate, day after tomorrow, I might as well not even go to bed!
I feel like the only one awake on the planet. Is anybody out there?